You drop the bomb that will demolish my life

Words you struggle to say freeze time

A moment in which the spinning of the world ceases

Then suddenly and all at once the shrapnel flies

Each piece begging the question

What if?

There are plans to be making

Contingencies to account for

Plan B won’t cut it

We need a plan for every letter of the alphabet

Driven to plan more by the echoing words

What if?

My mind is a landscape of black and white

I drown in the shades of grey

The uncertainties

The maybes

So I plan and plan

Building myself a life raft out of collected strategies

A raft to survive the turbulent waters filled with

What ifs?

Stacks and stacks of boxes line the walls

Each  full of files and folders

A life sorted into categories

Memories broken down and understood

Each box a certainty

Each box a plan, past or future

Each new thing must find its box

The ifs and maybes unable to find a home

Needing to be analyzed and broken down

All the while begging the question

What if?

You wonder why I fret over this

Why I stress the things that haven’t happened

The possibilities and maybes

Because this is how I understand

This is how I comprehend

Always driven by the unanswered question

What if?