Searing pain tears through my body

Stabbing, blinding, mind-numbing pain

All-consuming, unavoidable, inescapable

And so the battle begins…

Is it bad enough?

Does it hurt enough?

Do I deserve to not be in pain?

 

Will these precious hours go to waste?

Will I do enough to be worth it?

Am I worth it?

 

It’s an odd game we play

We the sufferers of chronic pain

Weighing our choices

Having to decide

Is it worth it?

Am I worth it?

 

When the world is always on fire

When the agony never ends

When pain is all there is

And all it seems there ever will be

Each breath of relief becomes a treasure

 

A little pill becomes precious

Something to be guarded and held

Saved until the right time, the right pain

 

Is it bad enough?

Does it hurt enough?

Will I regret it later?

 

An endless chorus of questions

Unanswerable questions echoing, building

Questions that should never need asking

 

Am I worth it?

Do I deserve relief?

 

It’s a messed up game we play

A game whose rules in which we had no say

A game of balance and justification

An endless round of questions to decide

Do I deserve a few hours of relief

In the midst of endless torment?