Tears streak from reddened eyes

Liquid trails of pain escaping

His face contorts in grotesque shapes

As fire sears through his limbs

 

Frozen I sit, so near yet so far away

My mind paralyzed, unsure of what to do

Desperately treading water to stay afloat

In the choppy seas of conflicting illness

 

His mind is trapped in the space in between

Caught in the gaps between real and imagined

His mind concocting and crafting many horrors

Strange visions and voices that fill his senses

 

I want to be the anchor to hold him to the shore

I want to be the lighthouse to guide him back to safety

I want to be the lifeboat sent across the see to rescue him

I want to be so much for him yet never enough can I be

 

And again his legs are weakening

His strong form falling again and again

His nerves die off in excruciating waves

Leaving numb hands and numb feet

 

I try to catch him but miss

I watch him fall the ground

Hear the resounding crash

And helpless I stand above him

 

His body aches from constant movement

Each muscle and joint burning to be done

Yet the squiggling, squirmy energy within him

Does not allow for rest or sleep or peace

 

My fragile frame cannot keep up

With its too loose joints and painful growths

My body loses pace, falls behind

Unable to keep up with bubbling, burning mania

 

Body and mind intertwine and decline

The myriad of illnesses come to a head

Take a pill to balance a pill to counter a pill

To strive for relief but never quite reach

 

We play the game of chronic pain

A game we never got to choose

A game in which we were conscribed

And in which no one wins

 

We each were awarded a grab bag

A mystery bag of pain and suffering

We guess and speculate and try to know

What diseases are held within

 

A little bit of mental illness

A dash of autism and ADHD

A heap of chronic pain

And a life spent without answers

 

Our limbs move as they shouldn’t

Our organs fight and rebel

Our bodies teach the meaning of pain

And our minds shatter and break

 

Two lovers with broken bodies

Two lovers with altered minds

Two lovers helping one another

Through the murky waters of illness

 

My mind unfreezes, my legs unlock

I catch his falling body just in time

I find the words to ease his mind

I hold his body tight to mine

 

We float adrift in this sea of illness

Two lovers clinging to a breaking lifeboat

Yet when all hope seems lost and night is dark

We always find out way

 

Two broken bodies, two altered minds

Two lovers devoted to each other

Two brilliant minds to play this game

Two people to fight for each other

 

Illness robs and steals and fights and takes

Illness breaks and destroys and hurts

Yet love and dedication will carry us through

Two hearts joined to weather the storm

 

We are anchors holding each other to the shore

We are lighthouses guiding each other home

We are lifeboats sent to rescue each other

And we will always be enough