An anchor drops within my chest

The weight knocking me down

Securing me to this state

The darkness taking hold

 

Then begins the spiral

The swirling thoughts

Falling ever down

Deep into the pit

 

All your fault

It’s all your fault

Says the voice inside

 

You’re not enough

You’ll never be enough

The voice echoes on

 

Why does anyone love you

Why does anyone even care

The voice sinks fangs into flesh

 

On and on the spiral goes

Pulling me deeper, ever deeper

Into the deepest pits of despair

Anchor still hooking me down

 

No one is safe from the voice

The voice attacking all held dear

Questioning my foundations

All my truth, my reality

 

He speaks in reason and sense

Fighting off the voice inside

But his words fall flat

Against a voice too strong

 

I rip and tear and twist and turn

Trying to get loose of this anchor

Trying to escape this dreaded pit

But the weight is too much to move

 

Slowly, oh so slowly, his words eek in

Chipping away at the iron anchor inside

I start to rise from the depths

A glimmer of light in the distance

 

As I resurface, finally free of the anchor

I look back on that passed

Face reddening with shame

As apologies spill forth

 

The voice seems farcical now

Its assertions no longer plausible

I can laugh it all off now

The absurdity of my spiral

 

Yet quietly I know inside

That soon the voice will return

And I will be trapped once more

Held down by the same trappings